Sleepless

Sleepless

What would it be like if we actually slept together?

Would we be warm and wrapped around each other?

Or would we lay on our sides,

using our hands to prop our heads up, which slowly slip as we fall asleep. 

Do you have a hairy chest and a happy trail?

Are your pajamas just a pair of boxers or briefs? 

Or maybe nothing at all? 

I’ve never slept with anyone like you before. 

I’ve never slept with anyone like me before. 

Do you dream? 

I do. 

Though, I must tell you now,

I sometimes can’t tell the difference between my dreams and reality.

I’ll wake up thinking we're in a fight

even though we fucked last night. 

I hope that doesn’t scare you, even though it terrifies me.

I wake up screaming and I don’t know why. 

I take a lot of drugs,

but I still toss and turn. 

Are you still with me? 

I think I might be stumbling through my house in a foggy haze, 

then crawling back to my bed, grasping for walls along the way. 

I wonder if I’m supposed to sleep alone forever,

though I think of you in my bed.

Don’t judge me if I’m a dick in the morning, I probably didn’t sleep. 

And that’s, in part, because you were laying next to me.

It’s not your fault, it’s mine. 

Just don’t judge me because I’ve never done anything like this before.

And I’m sorry that I have to practice with you.

Fucked and Neck

Fucked

I want you to grab me 

by the neck,

press your fingers firmly 

against my skin

and push my Adam’s Apple 

back inside me.

Squeeze harder 

than you think you should. 

Go on, I won’t be upset

if you accidentally

go a little too far. 

Neck 

That rolling hill 

on your throat,

I want to wrap my lips

around it. 

Stubble and all. 

Roommate

Hey, roomie.

I haven’t seen you in a while,

and to be honest, 

I’ve been avoiding you for some time.

I thought you had moved out.

But I see you’re still paying rent

at my expense.

And showing up when you’re least expected.

You know, I didn’t mind you at first.

In fact, I kind of liked you.

Showing me a side of myself that I didn’t think I had.

Carefree, fun, and even a little dangerous. 

That’s what you did. 

But now, you’ve been here too long. 

And I am scared you’ll never leave.

I invited you in, which was a mistake. 

You seemed sexy, mysterious, alluring. 

I know now that that was all an illusion.

I appreciate all that you have done, 

woke me up and made me realize 

who I could be.

But you’ve been living with me for so long,

I’m not sure how to tell us

or our possession apart. 

Is that your grief and my guilt? 

Whose happiness is that?

I don’t see a name on it.

You’re wearing me down.

I can tell I’m going to give up soon,

if you don’t leave. 

Would you be happy if I did that? 

Will you have won?

Or will we have both lost?

Please move out

by the end of the month.